Week 2 Recap: Oh it’s bad

Ahem,

mmmmmmmmmmmugh

Y’know they started out slowly but picked it up at one point in the second half and the offense showed signs of life during the third quarter and it was just a case of going against a hot quarterback that did them in but

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUck this the defense looked lethargic all night and the offense couldn’t pick up the slack, a dude who got run out of Michigan was able to throw for five touchdowns and like a thousand yards and wasn’t bothered at all by a pass rush which sucks because that’s supposed to be the one good thing KU has at the very least and Steven Sims was hurt and Central Michigan’s Best Player is named Mark Chapman

 

Mark Chapman had 168 yards receiving on eight catches with three touchdowns and clearly outplayed the entire KU defense 

aDLv4YV - Imgur.gif

The ease with which this guy outruns four defenders that he has no business outrunning with that amount of ease for a seventy yard touchdown is indicative of this game as a whole. John Lennon RIP

img_5377
Get a load of that crowd during the first quarter!

I will spare you the recap of the game, because you can get there from a box score from anywhere, and it will tell you exactly what you need to know. The box score will indicate that KU couldn’t score in the first half, and then came back slightly in the second half before being crushed in the fourth quarter.

This game presents a challenge to any KU football fan going forward, and I would like to see us all accept it. It is now no longer possible to be too pessimistic when it comes to Jayhawk football, and it is your responsibility to be wary of that. Next time you think “Oh, I think Kansas will beat this team, they’re really on a downswing”, or “KU matches up well against this team” (the links are incidental, but I keep seeing this sentiment about particular teams among fans), just remember the name on the front of the jersey and the bird on the helmet and temper your expectations a little bit.

If you have to repeat “1-11” to yourself, do so.

This was the exact type of game to get me worried about the state of the program, because for a short period of time there, KU looked like the better team. With two touchdowns right off the bat in the third quarter, the Jayhawks should have came back and won this game, it was a one-possession game! All they needed was for the defense to make one stop (and they nearly did make the stop, as a crucial pass-interference on third and goal was what led to a CMU touchdown) with about seven minutes left in the third and this could’ve been a different game. But they didn’t, and CMU scored, and the dam broke, and Who Gives a Shit, and now you’ve lost to Central Michigan by eighteen.

Kansas got outplayed. If this had been a sharp blowout, I think it’d be easier to take. But there were points during this game when the Jayhawks were the better team, and they couldn’t capitalize. This will be the theme as the season continues. Across the board, Kansas is better. But at its core, when the going gets tough and the big-time players need to step up, Kansas will still be Kansas.

There was supposed to be a John Lennon theme in here but I can’t name more than two of his solo tracks.


This is a hell of a week to start this segment but whatever. I present, Joe’s Star Players of the Game

Stars.jpg

Dom Williams (HB, 64 Yards, 2 TDs)

04XoA72 - Imgur.gif

He scored two touchdowns and looked like a real-life running back at points, which is something that KU hasn’t had since 2014. Kansas’ running game wasn’t the worst part of this game, and they didn’t give up as many turnovers as the passing game did, and the running game actually outscored the passing game.

Ryan Schadler (WR, 60 Yards Receiving, 33 Yards Rushing, 1 TD, 46 Yards on Kickoff Return)

Ig5lw69 - Imgur.gif

This guy was a jack of all trades offensively and managed to get into the endzone once and also provided what could’ve been a nice spark for the KU offense had Peyton Bender not thrown three straight incomplete passes to kill the drive right at the end of the third quarter.

I really hope that Doug Meacham makes more use of Ryan Schadler but I’ve watched KU football long enough to know that an exciting, athletic player will not be used properly.

The Very Drunk Man Yelling at Nobody in Particular about Jesus and Mark Mangino after the Game

I don’t have the ability to let loose like this man did, but I’m happy that he got some catharsis out of this game. We would probably be better if we had Jesus Christ as a coach, and I think we would’ve fired Mark by this point if we hadn’t fired him in 2009, but, man, I feel you.

Or, actually, let me back that up. Jesus Christ was a man who lived in Jerusalem 2017 years ago. I don’t know if the mind of Christ would translate to modern American football (that’s the part you don’t hear about, we get so caught up about his body and blood that we forget that Jesus had a brain, too), but I’d think that Jesus would eventually pick up on the fact that Shane Morris has run the same WR pick play for like seven yards at a time at least eight times during the game (Seriously, CMU scored its first and third touchdowns with the exact same play, run the same way, to the same guy)

The fans whom Peaced Out in the Second Quarter

img_5376

Look at that poorly-cropped student section! Look at how far back it goes! Look at that! That’s actually the largest student section I’ve seen at KU since the Gill era, and it’s the last of that size I’ll ever see at KU, certainly. But, still, credit to those who saw a bad thing coming when it was coming and made steps to make their lives better in the process. I used to get mad at them but now I’m just kind of envious.


And now, on the opposite tip, the Terry Allen Award for Generally Being That Way

Terrys

The Whole Defense

We are two games in to the season, and the Kansas defense has racked up how many sacks?

1.gif

It’s one sack. They have to get more than one sack in two games, and they have to get more than zero quarterback hurries against Central Michigan. This is going to be a long season if this keeps up. Zero interceptions, too, in two games. This is bad, folks, and it’s not getting better. If anything, it’s getting worse.

The headlines for this week will probably be about Peyton Bender’s bad game, and he did have a bad game, and I’ll get to him later on. But the scoreline doesn’t lie – 45 points. A MAC team scored 45 points. The NIU team that won 11 games in 2011 couldn’t score 45 points on Turner Gill’s defense, which was the worst in all college football that year by points scored. If these defensive woes don’t get fixed, then this is going to be a season of more 45-27 scores, in all likelihood.

The Guy Behind Me

It’s not the fact that he was yelling, it’s what he was yelling. Normally, people scream at sporting events when they’re mad. That’s fine, and I understand, and I’ve done it too. But this man picked one word to yell during the entire first half.

“TACKLE!”

Tackle? Like you’re just reminding them to tackle?? Like, the whole entire point of the defense, the one thing that they’re supposed to do, and you’re just yelling at them to do it? You have to think harder if you’re going to yell that hard. There was a person who sat next to me at a Sporting game once who just kept repeating “come on, Kick it!” when we got the chance and I love that because it’s a good reminder of what needs to be done, but angrily yelling “TACKLE” as if they’re going to hear you and say “oh, yes, that’s right, I should tackle the man” will, uh, not work.

Peyton Bender

gmczbuj - Imgur.gifThe second interception wasn’t quite his fault, but the first one was just a bad throw. He didn’t get a lot of help due to drops by his receivers, but… It’s gotta be better than this if he’s going to keep the job. At least Carter Stanley would provide some athleticism and he could potentially open up an option game with Williams, Sims, and Schadler if given the chance, but I don’t think that coach is going to give up on him so quickly.


So, Where Do We Go from Here?

img_5381

My initial cliché way to begin this graf would be to say “I don’t know, man”, and then continue. But the thing is, I do know. I know very well, and the answer is 1-11. The answer is 1-11, and we’re going to end at 1-11, and there will be nothing more than 1-11. Kansas fans, let’s embrace 1-11, and believe in 1-11, and not deny the reality that there is 1-11 in our future. Just get it on the tip of your tongue – One and Eleven. Enunciate it hard, let those hard N, L, and V sounds slam into your mouth like so many Mark Chapman stiff arms against the KU secondary.


Oh good and we get to go to Ohio next week

ohio
Si seulement, si seulement.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – Ohio got its ass handed to them by Purdue. But Purdue is far better than KU. Ohio is far better than KU as well, and they will make certain that we know this by beating them upon the field.

NEXT SATURDAY’S PREDICTION

I will walk into a Burger King at 10:30 in the morning, vomit in their bathroom, buy one 4-piece chicken nugget box so it’s acceptable that I used their bathroom, throw said box of nuggets in the garbage and then leave. Ohio will win by 40.


Telling Jokes and Selling Rope

Buying in to a Kansas football season now is believing that they’ll win three games when in reality they’ll only win one. I bought in to that idea, and the only way that I’m paying for it is that I’m slightly more disappointed on the weekends and I’m whining on a blog about it. There are a lot of beatable teams left on the Jayhawks’ schedule, but there will be one constant in all of those games, and it will be the Kansas Jayhawks. I don’t feel optimistic about the rest of the season, and I’m still in the pessimistic phase, and I’ll let you know when that sweet, sweet numbness sets in.

“Swan Dive to Estuary/Selling Rope” is a song about falling short of promises and watching as alibis and lies come to fruition as exactly what they are. This was the game where that happened. KU came into this game favored by a touchdown and lost by eighteen.

This was the first game since 2014 where I thought, from kickoff, that Kansas would win the game. It wasn’t like a “we might have a good chance” feeling, or a “cautiously optimistic” feeling, but just a nice “I’ll be disappointed if KU loses this by eighteen” feeling. I based the prediction for this game on one decent game against Southeast Missouri, one good win against Texas last year, and a whole lot of false hope based off of a coaching staff that didn’t back it up in this game.

Maybe they’ll turn it around. Coach Bowen’s defenses have a weird history of playing horribly for the first few games and getting better by the end of the season. But I don’t expect anything, and you shouldn’t either. The pomp and excitement of the beginning of what was supposed to be the turnaround year has revealed itself to be just that – shoe polish and hot glue masking more bad football.

“There’s no ticker tape
No pearly gates
No carnival, and no parade
Just one, one for sorrow”


All of the gifs used came from the Big XII’s Youtube Channel. I will apologize for the LC! reference for the second week in a row but whatever I run this site I will treat it as I may.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s